Full-time RVing is an interesting life.
It’s beautiful and rich with so many special memories and wonderful opportunities.
And it’s also overwhelming and stressful and often doesn’t bring out the best in us.
There are many components to it. It’s not a hike all day and sit around the campfire every night lifestyle. Sure, there are moments of that. Way more moments of that than we had living in a real-life home, living normal, real-life lives. We have more adventure. We see more things, experience so many places. We find ourselves outdoors way more often. (400 square feet will do that to a family of 6).
Early on when we pulled away from the life that felt predictable to the unknown of the road, friends would ask how they could pray for me. My response was that I’d be intentional. Make the most of this experience. (Now I say “That we could be nice to each other!” but that’s a post for another day.)
For me, this request included everything – see all the sites, go all the places, experience all the things. Be in the moment. Don’t miss a thing. Turn the TV off. Visit the National Parks, eat the local foods. Cheese curds in Wisconsin, Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland, Pasties on the UP, Cincinnati Chili on spaghetti in Ohio…
Really, there is so much. No end of experiences and richness in this country of ours.
Which means there is also no end to researching and making sure we aren’t missing a thing. It’s a lot of responsibility to take your family on the road and make the most of it.
Add to this that real life keeps going.
The truth is, there is always something. Some responsibility pulling my mind away and distracting me. I’m constantly trying to balance being responsible with being intentional. Staying focused, but flexible. Being interruptible but not easily distracted from the important things. Doing the things that need to get done even when I don’t feel like it.
Because there is always homeschooling and laundry and dishes and dirty bathrooms. And sometimes someone needs a new pair of shoes or stitches at Urgent Care and the closest town is 30 minutes away. We still need haircuts. People still get sick. And every week or so we have to pack everything up and move to a a new spot and unpack everything all over again.
And the RV… It has its own issues. We’ve had water leaks and broken slide outs. Our microwave didn’t work for several states and our oven is never the right temperature. The freezer is usually not quite cold enough and the fridge is so cold produce freezes and dinner plans get sabotaged.
Oh, and did I mention the kids still need to be parented?
And by needing to be parented, I don’t mean fed and nagged to do schoolwork.
They need to be nurtured. Their hearts need to be heard.
This isn’t as difficult with a 3-year-old. He makes his needs very clear. Immediately. He’s happy. He’s tired. He’s needy. He’s irrational. He’s losing his mind. It’s all pretty clear. His emotions are visible. He’ll crawl on my lap with a book even if I tell him no. He won’t stop demanding a snack even if I ignore him. He still needs supervision so I’m with him most of the day.
But even then, am I intentional?
Am I nurturing his heart or just going through the motions of the day, subconsciously counting down the hours until bedtime?
Older kids who can make their own breakfast and text with their friends and explore on their own make it easy to forget about deeper needs. Sometimes they need time with me just as much as Grady does, but they aren’t going to whine and cry and throw things at me. (Usually)
The problem is there are many responsibilities pulling me in different directions. “No, I can’t play a game. I have to book campgrounds for the next month and research what to see in Lexington while we have wifi.” “I have no idea what we are having for dinner because all the lettuce is frozen.” “I can’t go for a bike ride because I have to clean these nasty floors while 5 other pairs of feet aren’t in here.” “I’d like to go for a walk or stop at the playground but I need to get schoolwork graded and organized and put some thought into making learning fun this week.”
Or, what is often the case but I probably don’t admit, “I’m tired and selfish and I just want to read my book or scroll through Instagram.”
Then there are all the other answers I don’t actually give because the questions aren’t asked.
No, I guess I won’t come pull up a chair outside next to you and chat about life because, well, you saw I was too busy and you didn’t bother asking me. I guess I’m not making it a priority to look at your inventions. Or fish with you. Or admire your creativity. Or stay up late with you for some quality time while the trailer is quiet.
Here’s my problem. When I make my mental to-do list every day, I fail to list my most important responsibility.
Parent.
I mean, yes, my kids needs are met. They have clean clothes (at least they start out that way). They have food to eat. There is plenty of education going on (well, mostly…). I’m very involved in their disagreements (the arguing and fighting goes on all. day. long. and there is nowhere to hide!) I’m present in their lives. (I mean, we live in a tiny trailer, how can I not be?)
But I don’t prioritize nurturing their hearts. Stopping and listening. Delighting in my kids. Being present. Being available. Being a caretaker of souls.
This has become what being intentional means to me now. Ultimately, I’d rather miss out on the historic landmarks and beautiful places than miss out on being present with my kids. My mindset and intentionality could make a campground walk more rich than a National Park.
Yes, we still have many places we want to see, but more importantly, I have hearts I want to know. Souls I have the sacred responsibility to help guide for the sake of eternity.
This is how I want to be intentional. We didn’t shred our distractions just to replace them with different ones.
And my children aren’t distractions. They aren’t interruptions. They are my greatest gift and most important responsibility.
And I want to be intentional.
