Ready to Quit?

So often when I meet people and tell them about our full-timing life they say, “I’ve always wanted to do that!”

And I think, really? I sure never did. 

When our dear friends ventured out on the road several years ago I thought what they were doing was pretty cool, but I never had the temptation to follow them. That was probably due in large part to the fact that I was drowning in a sea of grief at the time and finding the energy to get out of bed in the morning was more than enough for me to tackle each day.

And interestingly enough, it was that very loss which was suffocating me that became a catalyst of sorts for our friends. Walking with us as we buried Mason and struggled with living life without him, they felt the importance of family, the urgency to be intentional with their kids. They wanted more out of their time with them, wanted to live on purpose. So they sold everything, uprooted their life and hit the road. In many ways, they blazed the trail for us. The fact that they thrived in this full-timing thing convinced me we should go for it.

When we started, we committed to a year on the road. Partly because we have older kids and homeschooling becomes a little more complicated in high school. Additionally, the need for independence increases and maybe these teenagers of ours don’t want to be trapped in a little home on wheels with their crazy family. (Or maybe we don’t want to be trapped with them…)

The year commitment was also due in large part to the fact that we knew it could be hard and a clear goal would force us to persevere. We couldn’t give up before that year was over. 

I mean, of course traveling the country is a lot of fun. 

But it’s also a lot of work. And cramming 6 people in a trailer is borderline insanity. We have many long hours on the road, very little kitchen counter space, and even less personal space. We get tired and overwhelmed and there are so many unknowns. It can really wear a person down.

Someone asked me the other day if I’ve considered quitting.

Um, yes. I’ve considered quitting many times. 

Quitting many things. Like parenting and adulting and persevering. Life is just plain hard sometimes. But the things I want to quit would follow me even if I wasn’t RVing. So no, I haven’t considered quitting full-timing. 

RVing isn’t the problem. RVing isn’t really what makes us argue, nor is it the reason we get exasperated with our children’s fighting. RVing isn’t what keeps us from connecting with one another or hearing each others heart. RVing isn’t why I’m tired and spent.

I mean, yeah, if we weren’t living a nomadic lifestyle in a tiny little home, some things might be easier. The kitchen may feel less messy. The kids could have more breaks from each other (and from me). We’d have an extra bathroom. We’d have a more predictable schedule. Consistent community. 

But all my selfishness would still be there. My sin. My weariness at the need to persevere through the painful and the tedious and the monotonous. All of those things, the real things that make me want to quit, don’t exist because of our lifestyle. This drastic new way of living just brings it out in new and interesting ways. 

Because hard stuff is just part of this life. The messy and gritty and undesirable. And really, isn’t it persevering through those things that brings the most growth?

So yes, some of this is hard. But it’s also rich. And much of that rich stuff is experienced through the hard. Through the sacrificing and dying to self. Through submitting to what God’s plans are and not my own. I’ve walked some long and painful roads on this earth, trusting in His sovereignty in the dark and weary and hard. I’ve learned that faith and hope in him is always sure.

I’ve said over and over since we started this: 

When God calls you to something it won’t always be easy, but it will be good. 

And we know God called us to this. At least for a season.

So what is our timeline now? Well, we just hit that 6 month milestone and we all basically agree there is so much more to see. As one of my kids said, “Could you imagine if we were already halfway through? We just got started!” 

Fortunately, everyone is still enjoying this and still looking forward to what the future holds. Our current plan is to continue through next year and wrap up this experience in the late summer of 2022. 

And then what? We still don’t know. We don’t know where home will be. But we trust that God does and so we keep looking forward with hope. Knowing that whatever town we land in won’t be permanent either. Because ultimately, isn’t everything about this earth temporary?

We know as well as anyone that life doesn’t go as planned. So we hold this new goal loosely and look forward with confidence to our future.

Mostly, in our future that is eternal and lasting. That our hope isn’t in our travels this year or next or where we will settle at the end of this. Our hope is in the city whose designer and builder is God. 

And this truth is what keeps me persevering.