I’ve been keeping a journal during quarantine. I didn’t start it right away and it’s not as thorough as I’d like. I kept thinking, I should journal during this time. It’s significant and unique and although most days feel like every other day, there are major things happening. I want to document the big and the little. Maybe especially the little, because the little is easy to forget.
But to actually sit down and do it took time I didn’t seem to have.
For the first couple weeks of quarantine, not a whole lot changed around here. As a homeschool mom, I was already failing miserably at making sure all our subjects were completed each day. So, nothing new there. Ella, my only child at school, started doing high school on Zoom and my biggest responsibility in her education was being sure to not yell at my children while she’s online. Fortunately she mutes herself most of the time so I am covered there.
And Anthony started working from home. It’s fun to have daddy around, but also confusing to a 2 year-old. The good news is that for some crazy reason I decided to potty train Grady a couple months ago which is way earlier than my typical mark of “sometime before kindergarten.” It was God preparing me for when hoarding began to define our American culture and I am very grateful indeed that I don’t have to add diapers to my list of “will I ever find these again?” along with paper towels and hand soap.
The bad news is he still requires help for his bathroom needs and naturally daddy is his favorite go-to for everything. Except temper tantrums and incessant whining. So he usually bursts into whatever semi-quiet corner of the house where Anthony has chosen to work with demands of, “I have to go poop!” completely oblivious to dad’s important phone calls with Hope Center directors trying to determine how to get aid to 3rd world countries.
Although much of life within my walls is normal-ish, there is something historic happening here and I want to remember it.
So now I keep a document open on my laptop and I just add the date and write a little something for the day. I try to record a touch of current headlines and world happenings. But I mainly want to document what is happening in my home. In my head. In my heart.
Sometimes I have quiet uninterrupted time to sit and write. Much reflection has come out of this time. I write my prayers for India, my prayers for our family, things the Lord is showing me.
And sometimes I write things like, “I’m pretty sure one or more of my children haven’t showered since March.”
I’ve been handed a gift with forced quarantine. Good or bad, I want to use it to self-evaluate, hear the Lord, and come out better on the other side. I know there are countless options of binge-watching and I can easily get sucked in to shallow entertainment. Mindless ways to pass the time.
We are all pleasure seekers. Pleasure and comfort are serious daily priorities. And generally pretty easy to fulfill.
Pleasure and comfort aren’t bad. Not always. Many of God’s richest blessings bring great pleasure. But generally, these are not the most important things. Not the things that bring growth and maturity, wisdom and discernment.
Important things take discipline.
Discipline, intentionality, and prayer.
Discipline helps prevent the shallow things of our culture from seeping into the places of our souls created for deeper things.
I pray for my kids, and for myself, that we never be satisfied with the earthly blessings that point to a greater eternal promise. May we seek what is deeper. Long for it. May we not be content in the shallows.
And may we welcome opportunities to grow. To learn. To mature.
My prayer is that we use this time wisely. That we would be intentional. And that we always desire to come out better on the other side.
