Some changes are on the horizon for the Naimo family…
This last year (well actually, the last five years) has been a time of great reflection and heart change. Losing Mason has shaped and transformed me in many ways. It has sharpened my focus on heaven and helped me to see the things of this earth through the lens of eternity.
The loss of one child has redefined how I parent the other four. I don’t care as much about their earthly successes as I do about their eternal direction. I care deeply about the condition of their heart and their understanding and need of Jesus as their Savior. I long to see them respond to the Holy Spirit’s leading, teaching and conviction in their lives.
I get it wrong. A lot. I am selfish and shallow and impatient. I’d like to say I embrace every moment with my kids, knowing what a gift it is. But there are many moments I wish they’d just play happily by themselves so I can get the kitchen cleaned. And I am ashamed to admit how many times I inwardly groan when asked to come say goodnight (again!) to a child in bed. (Yes, I know those are often the most vulnerable moments with a young child and I should embrace them, but I’m selfish. And I’m tired!)
This blog has been a place where I have shared the deep things God has shown me in grief. And it has helped me process unbearable loss and the shock of living life without my son. God has shown me how he doesn’t waste any part of my pain.
But it’s not just pain and loss that God uses. God doesn’t waste anything. And I don’t want to waste this precious life he has given me.
I want to live not wasting the things the Lord puts in front of me. I don’t want to waste the gifts he gives and I also, like his feeding of the 5,000, don’t want to waste the leftovers he will use for his glory. The big things as well as the little things that may seem useless or unimportant.
And I certainly don’t want to miss what he wants to do in my children’s hearts. And while I can’t control their will or their souls (if only!) I can be faithful with how the Lord wants to use me in their story.
I have spent a great deal of time praying and fasting over the last few years about what the Lord has for my life, both in the day before me and in the years before me. The immediate (as in, give me grace to tackle the tedium of the day) and the bigger picture (where would our family flourish best?)
Much of the last few years has felt like standing still. Sometimes rest, sometimes healing, sometimes uncertainty. But this year feels like movement. Changes are happening. Some progression forward for the kingdom. Years of prayer and seeking the Lord, and years of perspective shifting that maybe would have only worked in my life through that sharp and terrible tool of grief, have brought clarity in many things.
So, I hope to write more. And share not just what God is doing through grief, but what he is doing with all aspects of our life. I have seen that the loss of Mason and living with grief is woven into everything we do now. It has shaped our decisions for the future and enlarged our hearts for greater purposes.
For starters, Anthony has moved into a more active, full-time role with Hope Partners International, which runs Hope Centers around the world, including Mason’s Place in India. The needs are overwhelming and the vision is growing. And it is exciting to be a part of major things happening to help the desperate and the hurting.
It’s truly humbling to have my little boy’s name woven amid stories of redemption in India. With that also comes great responsibility: to share Mason’s story and what God has done through his short life and our painful loss. And to bring awareness to the plight of the marginalized, neglected and abused. Not just at Mason’s Place but throughout the world.
So we decided to do something drastic. Our family of 6 is going to move into a 5th wheel and travel this wonderful country of ours while Anthony works for Hope Partners. We’ll share our story, homeschool, adventure, and breathe in life together. (Much more on all this in the days to come.)
So what all does the future hold? Only the Lord knows. I plan to document the good, the bad, and the lessons learned right here at LetNothingBeWasted.com. Because God doesn’t waste a thing. And we want to make it all count for eternity. And we certainly don’t want to miss what eternity holds for the lives we have the opportunity to touch.
This life we have is a brief one. We want to make it count.
