I’m a terrible decision maker. Part of it has to do with the possibility of regret. What if I end up wishing I made the other choice? This fear plagues me with indecision.
The only reason perusing a menu at a restaurant doesn’t overwhelm me is that I’m also a picky eater. I can easily rule out anything with mushrooms, pork, rosemary, and most fish.
The decisions for this full-time RVing adventure have at times been enough to put me over the edge. Which 5th wheel? Which Thousand Trails membership? Which states do we hit this summer? Where do we spend Christmas?
Then the renovation of the 5th wheel. All the decisions.
Like paint color. I knew I wanted it painted white. Do you know how many white paint options there are? About a million. What kind of furniture? Which light fixtures? How do we store things?
Anthony went to Home Depot this morning and brought home about 3 dozen white paint samples for me. So, I googled how to choose a white. I read that one white will look gray in New York and yellow in Florida so choose based on where you live.
But wait, what if you plan to live in both places?
Decisions are difficult.
But the decision to embark on this adventure was oddly very easy for me.
Several months ago my kids started mentioning how they’d love to live somewhere else, move to a different state. I sorta dismissed this because where we live in southern California is basically paradise. (Never mind the political climate and the exorbitant cost of living.) Honestly, I love our community, our friends, the perfect weather, the proximity to the beach… It’s pretty great here.
As their talk of moving increased I said one night at dinner, “Well guys, you can pray about it. If God wants that for us lots of things would have to fall into place.”
And then I realized that if I was asking them to pray about something, I needed to be praying about it. And I really didn’t want to. Because the truth is, I didn’t want to move.
So the next few days this was heavy on my heart. I started praying and seeking from the Lord if there really was a change on the horizon. And processing what that would really mean for my heart if we were to move. I went through a roller coaster of emotions because this is truly home for me.
But after serious prayer, I woke up one morning and full-time RV-ing just popped into my thoughts. And I wondered, hmm… where did that crazy notion come from? That’s pretty drastic.
But as I prayed I had overwhelming clarity, great peace that this was from the Lord. And immediately I was totally okay with it. I didn’t have to weigh pros and cons. I wasn’t struggling with the decision process. There was so much clarity. It was easy!
I like decisions like that.
I thought the big hurdle would be my family all being on board. I prayed about it for a couple days and first talked to Anthony whose immediate response was, “Great, let’s do it.” Done.
Then we had to talk to our kids. What teenagers want to leave their friends and roomy living areas to shove into a 400 square foot living space with just their family?
Apparently mine. They were thrilled.
It has been so exciting to begin a new chapter of life with such brilliant clarity from the Lord.
And while the decision came basically overnight, the process of preparing me for that decision was much more in depth. It really came from years of prayer and pursuit of what God’s will is, not my own.
If left to myself and my own whims and preferences, who knows what this life would look like. Certainly lots of decisions driven by comfort and happiness. Ease and security.
The pursuit of God’s will begins in the daily. In the discipline of constant surrender. Of sacrifice. Of listening to the Lord, being watchful in prayer. Of immersion in God’s word. Filling myself up with truth. Seeking wisdom. Watching for the themes the Holy Spirit brings into my life. Being attentive to the what the Lord wants to say.
This means turning off a lot of other things. It includes the discipline of fasting. Waking up early and not looking at my phone until I’ve been in the Word. Choosing to stay off social media some days or saying no to the shallow things I enjoy so I can enjoy the deeper things of the Lord.
The practice of this has been what has brought such clarity to this new crazy chapter of our life. When God calls us to something, he makes it super clear and brings much peace. But we have to know how to listen.
Yeah, there are many decisions to make still. Choices that make my head spin. And I don’t want to over-spiritualize throw-pillow shopping, but I have found that when I turn over even the smallest, seemingly insignificant decisions to the Lord, he always brings me direction and clarity.
Many of our daily decisions aren’t necessarily good or bad. They are just choices. Preferences. Things that don’t really make a spiritual difference. But they can still be overwhelming and distracting. And Jesus’ first miracle of turning the water to wine shows he delights in the little things in our life; he cares about the details. He takes pleasure in us. And if we let him, he guides us through the little things as well as the big things.
There is great peace walking in the assurance of God’s direction. And as we step out on this adventure I desire more discipline of listening. Being watchful. Allowing the Lord to show me what things matter, and what things don’t.
I’m not naive enough to think this will be easy. But I know it will be good.
